People & Places

Gonna Make You Sweat

sweatWe all sweat*, some more, WAAAAAAAAAY more, than others. We need to, it’s just a basic human function to cool the body down and regulate its temperature. But how much is too much, that’s what I want to know.

Thankfully, for me, I just sweat from good ol’ fashioned exercise, anxiety and being hot in general. My hands and feet don’t really sweat unless I’m about to pass out from heat exhaustion, but don’t get me started about my underarms, butt crack and lady area! Most summer days when I’m sitting on any plastic chair I’ll leave a lovely wet patch and it’ll feel like I’ve wet myself – charming, I know! It can be very awkward if you’re sitting with strangers or people you’ve just met (first dates anyone?!).

I can use antiperspirants til the cows come home, but they don’t make a lick of difference, if I’m hot I’m gonna sweat! And it’s not like I can spray some down on my lady garden, or can I?! Somehow I think that’s not healthy.

Here’s a story for you kids, gather round…One time I was travelling around Kakadu and it was roughly 4080° and I was in a van with no A/C (WTF?!) and wearing beige 3/4 pants. The sweat was literally POURING out of me, so much so there was the biggest sweat patch from my “hot-box” all the way down to my knees. To say I was mortified would be an understatement! I didn’t want to get out of the van and explore, I just wanted to hide in shame. One very important lesson was learnt that day dollface; don’t EVER where tan pants in the heat!



What about those poor bastards that experience excessive sweating in their hands, underarms or face? There’s a slew of medical conditions that can cause it, but what about if nothing’s wrong it’s just that you’re nervous or one sweaty Betty?! It can be a cause for embarrassment amongst many, with people turning to solutions such as botox injections,  medications and alternative therapies like acupuncture.

o-SWEAT-SPARKLE-570I don’t want to take too drastic a step to combat my perspiration problems so I’ve researched some home remedies that you can all try at home too. Here’s some handy hints for the next time you find yourself drenched in sweat:

  • Drink plenty of water – you should do this anyway for the other billion fabulous reasons.
  • Wear clothes made of natural fibres, like cotton. Avoid synthetic fabrics like your old friends Polly and Esther as my pal Adjpants would recommend. TESTIFY!!
  • Get friendly with witch hazel; this herb is a great astringent and antiperspirant, which gently dries up the sweating area.
  • Eat some grapes everyday! They’re a natural antioxidant and it balances the temperature of the body. Top tip for summer; stick them in the freezer for a couple of hours and eat them frozen, it’s just like a sorbet
  • Lastly, avoid stress! I know it’s easier said than done, but sometimes you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

So over to you guys; are you an excessive sweater? Does it bother you and if so what do you do to combat it? OK, now everybody dance!





15 replies »

  1. Oh my goodness, THANK YOU! I sweat so much when I’m nervous. And in the summer here? I’m a constant puddle.

    At the Warrant concert, I about died from embarrassment because I suddenly started sweating through my makeup – I was mortified! Being front row doesn’t calm the nerves either.

    Thanks for the tips Rosie! And it’s great to know I’m not the only person who sweats like a pig under certain circumstances!

  2. HAHAHAAA 4080!! I’m chuckling over here! I effing love this post LOL. Girl you know about my daily schvitz struggle, in the winter the layering makes me hot and bothered. In the summer we have the unfortunate KFC hotbox situation. And now I have to trick my pits by changing deodorant brand every year or so! Is it old age?? #moist #sauteedonions

  3. As I recall, we all left ass imprints in our seats at Pat O’Briens in NOLA sitting outside! Good times!!! Wash your ass afterwards, all good!!!

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